Gone, Gone, Gone

In my writer’s classes we would talk about the Protagonist’s journey. Fiction novels, especially fantasy, often follow a pattern where the majority of the Hero’s story takes place in a “special world.” That can be a metaphorical or physical place, but at the end of these stories the character usually (not always) comes back to the “ordinary world.”

Take the Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, The Harry Potter Books. The character’s go, have an amazing, life altering, journey/experience/quest/etc. and then are all forced to eventually return. (The reason I cried at the end of most of these stories)

Now, I am not a fictional character. I don’t have a Narnia or Hogwarts to escape to or to lose. But I do have my own special world. My own amazing experience that I am now having to leave. Today.

I’m actually writing this while on the road; from a McDonalds. Not the most conducive setting, but when road tripping I jump at free wifi.

Anyway, I hate saying goodbye. Even when it means it means I am living life and new beginnings, it’s still painful. I always thought when I found my “one” that would be it. My heart would find it’s home and we’d be together for the rest of our lives. If only that were true.

The truth is life is still life. I may love this man with all my heart and know he loves me, but we won’t always be able to be together. -I am coming to accept this- In fact I have come to a realization in the past hour that makes it so much easier. (Road trips are such a great time to think.)

Four months ago I had very little dreams for my life. Very few expectations. I wanted to serve God on the mission field, that was my dream. I expected to learn how to write, get instruction and feedback from other writers hoping to do the same. Ha!

What I got was an amazing family and support system. I remembered dreams I had lost and discovered new ones. I embraced dancing once again and realized I have a love for teaching dance to people. I started my book. And I fell in love.

I may be leaving my special world, but like Samwise the Brave, I am taking so much more back with me than I could have fathomed. I may not be with my heart anymore, but I know I have his. Even though we are separated, knowing the other is out there and loving us… I couldn’t have asked God for more.

I titled this post after Phillip Phillips’ song. Partly because I love his music, but also because it seemed fitting. No matter where I am, no matter where I go I will continue to love all of those I leave behind. Even when I’m Gone, Gone, Gone.